"Then he taught me, and he said to me, “Take hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands, and you will live. Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or turn away from them." Proverbs 4:3-5
I will always remember my first year as a teaching assistant in elementary school. I had volunteered at my kids’ school while they were still little, but as they grew up and moved on, I felt myself with time on my hands and a need for additional income. I applied to my school district and was hired as an “Instructional Assistant Substitute”.
My first assignment was at our local middle school. My preference was elementary, but as a sub, I had little control over which buildings I was assigned. I pretty much went where I was told.
This specific middle school assignment was with a student that was developmentally delayed and needed one-on-one attention for the entire school day. It was an exhausting day for me. For six-and-a-half hours, I was engaged with this student. Assisting in navigating hallways, communicating with students and teachers, and even some minor personal-care needs. The student got a bloody-nose halfway through the day and I had to facilitate care for that need beyond all the others. By the end of the day I was thoroughly spent.
I thought to myself in the car ride home, “If this is what the job is, I don’t think I want it.” When I was given the assignment, another assignment was piggy-backed with it. A position in a local elementary special needs classroom had been assigned to me the next day. I thought that if it was as bad as my first assignment, I would quit. If it was better, I would continue accepting sub jobs and see how things went.
Fortunately the next day was vastly different. I was placed with a seasoned special education teacher in a special needs classroom. The room was warm and welcoming with dim lights, not harsh fluorescents. Instrumental music played quietly as students calmly entered, took their seats around the room on bean-bags or stools, at computers and low tables. They quietly and calmly took out games and puzzles or worked on computer programs to begin their day with some quiet and peaceful fun.
I took to it immediately. I engaged with students, kneeling to make eye contact, mirroring our teacher’s calm, quiet voice. Using encouraging words, calling the students by their names, referring to them as my friends. One student, halfway through the day, saddled up next to me, laced their arm through mine and asked, “Will you be here tomorrow?” “No,” I replied, “I just get to be with you today. But hopefully I can come back again sometime.” “I hope so, too.” the student replied.
I never got the opportunity to sub in that classroom again, although I wish I had. That day set the scene for my career. That classroom woke up something buried inside me that I didn’t know was there. It was the spirit of a teacher. As I left that day, the gracious classroom teacher pulled me aside and asked how long I’d been subbing. “This is my second day.” I told her. She was surprised. “Well,” she said, “I have a feeling that if you look for a permanent position, someone is going to snatch you up.”
She was right. By Spring Break, I had been hired in a permanent position. I had a badge, a key, a mailbox and everything. My chair was an old wooden torture device and my desk was a round student table that hit me in the shins, but I was excited and thankful for an opportunity to see what this journey was going to look like.
I had so much to learn.
Thankfully, I was exposed to seasoned educators who were dedicated to their students and the teaching profession. They willingly shared their knowledge, techniques, language and supplies with me. I saw effective instruction and correction done with care and patience. I quickly learned the acronyms and lingo of my trade. I made connections with students and connections with staff and administrators. It was where I was meant to be and what I was meant to do.
In the subsequent years as my career as an educator has progressed, I have never stopped learning. To be a lifelong learner is to always be improving. As an educator, I became a student of the machine of education. It was exciting and scary and rewarding all at once and still is.
But I have to say the most valuable lesson I have learned in my job, the perk that makes it all worth doing, is learning about the nature of kids. Believe me when I say, I’ve seen it all. I have seen students excel at break-neck speed academically. I have seen students struggle to learn the most basic and remedial material. I have seen poverty and privilege, success and heartbreak. I have seen angry kids, sick kids, happy kids, excited kids, violent kids, peaceful kids, kind kids and mean kids. I have seen all sizes, shapes, colors and races.
And even though they are all different and unique, there are things that are universal. They all want to feel safe. They all want to feel heard. They all want to do their best (sometimes this seems untrue because they don’t have the vocabulary to explain their desires and their behavior becomes their language). They want to be accepted. They want to be recognized. They want to be known.
Isn’t that true of those of us who have grown up, too? We want those things as adults: safety, validation, acceptance, recognition. The things we need are primal. They are human-nature. Sometimes we still don’t have the vocabulary and we use unpleasant behavior to express when we are not getting those needs met.
I pray every year that God will equip me for the school year before me. That he will guide me to students who need an ally, to students who need a friend. I ask God to give me the ability to impact my students. God is faithful and he continues to fulfill my request. Sometimes, however, we ask for something and it manifests itself in a way that we don’t expect. For example, kids that need an ally often need one because there are struggles in their lives. Kids who need a friend are often difficult to get along with. Often the impact I have is that of a place of care and correction. Often my allied friendship seems like an adversarial one. It can be difficult to offer correction. Early in my career it was hard for me. Now I understand that the impact I have with my students is positive, even when it is corrective. It has an impact nonetheless.
Just as I was impacted when that seasoned teacher on my second day encouraged me in my path as a substitute and eventually a full-time educator, my students are impacted by me. I felt validated, accepted and recognized. This is an opportunity for them to feel that, too.
As the summer draws to a close and the back-to-school ads start to appear, I am reminded that everyone is a student of life. We all need the right supplies, attire, tools and environment to succeed. Not only are we impacted by others, we impact others. I continue to pray for God to equip me as an educator, but I also pray that he will equip me as a student of life; being an ally and a friend to others, being an encourager, a supporter and offering my care for others as I validate, recognize and accept them...
And I hope you’ll recognize that you are also enrolled in the school of life. Your textbooks have been issued. Your locker is assigned. All you have to do is grab your backpack, hop on the big yellow bus and take a ride with the rest of us. I promise I’ll save you a seat next to me and will even let you share my lunch.
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