Pieces

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3

Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch is a place where you feel something different and I think the feeling is probably different for everyone. What each person attributes the feeling to is as unique as the individual. For me, I believe what I feel is the presence of the Holy Spirit. For me, Crystal Peaks is holy ground. Others feel it is a place of redemption. Still others see it as a place of refuge. Either way, it is a pretty special place with an amazing mission.

This past summer I spent four days on the ranch serving with our high school church youth group. This is our third year serving there and it is a very unique opportunity. We give a couple dozen youths an opportunity to literally dig in and serve a worthwhile cause. They work hard. But the reward is something that these kids carry with them for years after the ranch dust has been washed away and the calluses healed.

Crystal Peaks is a special place with a special story. I’ve written about it in previous blog posts (“The Long Walk”, “Remnant” and “Stories”). The work of the ranch is not only to rescue horses but it also to rescue lost souls. They tirelessly pursue Jesus and his mission to seek and save the lost. It seems like each time I step on the property God has at least one lesson for me. This past summer was no exception.

There is an elemental part of me that is moved whenever I visit the ranch. This year, as I turned into the parking lot, my eyes filled with tears. It was a re-turning. My heart didn’t know what to expect in our service, but it knew where I was and I was accosted with the feeling of homecoming. My team, who had served with me in years passed, expressed the same emotion.

Soon after our arrival, that feeling passed. It was replaced by a feeling of determination and a desire to accomplish the tasks placed before us. And so we put our heads down. We did what needed to be done. Our team worked hard in the one-hundred-degree sun. We bucked hay, pulled weeds, stained buildings, and even scooped poop. Each day we would leave the ranch sweaty, dirty, sunburned and exhausted… And each day we left the ranch filled with a renewed hope of something more, something bigger than ourselves.

As I walked across the property on the last day, a wind had picked up, heralding cooler weather. I was wearing a wide-brimmed hat and as I walked the gravel road across the property, I kept my head down because of the wind. I could only see my feet and the road before me, my view impaired by the brim of my hat. As the wind broke, I could look up and see the road ahead of me and the beauty of the ranch around me. Then, as it picked back up, I had to return to looking at only the road before me and my feet on the gravel. God gave me a lesson there, on that road. When my eyes are down, distracted by the task and challenged by the wind, I was unable to witness the beauty that was before me; my miraculous place in the universe.

Our team really kicked it into gear that final day. After our morning “debrief” we broke into two groups and tackled huge tasks that the ranch had for us to complete. At 1:00 we reconvened for a last check-in and prayer. Then we hiked back to the parking lot and into our respective vehicles.

As I pulled out of the lot, my co-leader, who was in the passenger seat, laughed a little and wiped her eyes. “Why am I crying?” she asked. As we pulled away, passing the rolling green pastures filled with a herd of horses that we had come to know, hearing their stories of rescue and redemption, I said to her, “Every time I leave Crystal Peaks, a little piece of my heart stays behind.” She simply said, “I know what you mean.”

There are these places, like Crystal Peaks, where we feel such a connection, that leaving them seems impossible... Leaving them hurts. Inevitably, we leave a little piece of our heart there. Our broken, damaged, hurting heart becomes part of the landscape, part of the legacy, part of the very essence of the place. We know when we leave that we leave changed. If we are lucky enough to return one day, our heart feels the reconnection with the piece that was left behind, a permanent sacrifice of love.

Leaving behind a piece of our hearts may seem like a loss, a sad thing. But truly, it is a joy! It is a joy that we found a connection. It is a joy that we have a piece of our heart to give! It is a joy that we can invest ourselves emotionally, physically and spiritually to a place, an organization or a person and entrust that our heart-piece will be cared for, fostered and appreciated. The thing about leaving a little piece of your heart somewhere is that your hearts gets filled with those people and experiences, the piece that’s left behind is replaced. Our hearts become fuller, more whole than they were to begin with.

Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch has been built on broken hearts: the broken hearts of its founders, the broken hearts of its clients and even the broken hearts of its horses. The remarkable thing, the miracle, if you will, is that the ranch’s brokenness doesn't lead to more brokenness. This brokenness leads to strength. The ranch is a testimony to the abundance of love that has been invested to heal hearts… And they do it all for the glory of Jesus Christ who suffered the ultimate brokenness for each of us so that one day we would be whole again.

Leaving a piece of my heart at Crystal Peaks is an honor. But it is also a beacon. My heart will always be called back to the place that smells of juniper, hot earth and horses with its rolling green pastures, red-rock cliffs and palatial vistas. And as long as it's calling, I will come back to find my wholeness, feel my healing and reconnect with a piece of me that lives there that will be forever changed.