"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:10
I spent the better part of 2018 learning how to be happy. That statement seems strange in and of it itself, but let me explain.
I spent the better part of 2010-2017 surviving. As a widowed mother of 3 children, survival, my own and my family’s was paramount in my reality. Devastation often propels a person into survival mode. “Fake it ‘til you make it” is a true and genuine approach for many people after a life-changing event. I don’t think this is bad, either. The faking it to make it. We need time to recalibrate our existence. It doesn’t happen overnight. Sometimes it takes years to adjust to a “new normal” and we each have our own timeline and mode of coping. My timeline was apparently seven years.
After my seven years of “surviving” I found myself in a place of wanting. I wanted more: more out of life, more for myself. I wanted to step out of survival-mode and into living-mode. It was a desire deep in my heart; a place of wanting to “be happy”. Not that I was unhappy. I just wasn’t “happy”.
I didn’t know how to be happy... if that makes sense.
That’s when I felt a calling to rediscover what, in fact, made me happy. What was the key? What was the code to unlocking my happiness?
January 1st, 2018, I adopted “happiness” as my word-for-the-year. A mantra, if you will. A 365-day point of focus for my life. Magnetic north; happiness.
Happiness is, of course, different for everyone. But in my seeking, I found some personal truths that I think can be applied to any life to make it more rich and thus, bring about more individual happiness regardless of the person. I call these truths my “personal commandments” or “life hacks”. There are a dozen of them. These twelve hacks are superficially simple yet masterfully complex. Today I’m going to share one of them with you. (And possibly the other eleven in the future.)
Don’t let your initial reaction fool you into thinking these are easy concepts. It’s my belief that I will spend the rest of my lifetime trying to perfect them. But I think the benefits to this journey far outweigh the effort… And, even though I haven’t perfected these commandments, I can say... I have found happiness and it came in the process of seeking happiness.
The act of seeking happiness brought about happiness.
So, without any further ado, I give you my personal life hack numero uno...
Be yourself.
Again, please remember, don’t be too underwhelmed. I can hear you, right now, laughing at your computer screen saying: “Are you kidding me? Be yourself. That’s your big life hack? Gimme a break. This is the key to unlocking my happiness?”
But, hear me out on this. “Be yourself” is probably the most profound hack you will ever learn if you can truly apply it. Being oneself is hard... so very hard. With the pressures of society, work, family and a million other influences, we (especially in America) tend to adopt other people’s opinions, beliefs and attitudes as our own, not really examining them to see if they are what we truly believe.
This is the concept of self exploration. To know your true self, to explore your likes, dislikes, beliefs and dreams. What are your personality types? What are your opinions on religion, politics and ethics? What are your favorite sounds, smells, sights and tastes? What activities do you enjoy? What things grate on your nerves and what things set your soul on fire? What seasons do you enjoy? Do you have a sweet-tooth? Are you an early-bird or a night owl? The options are limitless, the journey endless.
God made you uniquely you! He didn’t create you to emulate others. You are created to be a one-of-a-kind masterpiece. What a boring world it would be, if we were all carbon-copies of one another. What a blessing it is to have opinions and preferences and tastes and personalities to carve out our individual place in the world; exploring all that God has created you for.
It’s time to try on different experiences. It’s time to experiment. If something sounds like it might be fun to you, give it a try. You don’t have to please anyone but yourself. Always wanted to try sky-diving? Give it a go! Interested in experimenting with cooking classes? Bon Appetit! Interested in playing a musical instrument or trying a sport for the first time? Just do it! The only thing holding you back is yourself.
Experiment and have fun. And give yourself permission to dislike things, too. The more you try, the more you will discover who you are and the more you can (wait for it) be yourself. Don’t you think you owe it to yourself to discover what unlocks your joy? You are going to be the one living in your body for the rest of your life, walking in your own shoes. You may as well actually enjoy yourself, the things you do and the places those shoes take you.
There is a bonus to exploring this concept, too… It can be very fun. Finding out what you enjoy is fun. And fun produces happiness!
Search, find and discover. Then you just might find that the thing that brings you the most happiness is yourself.
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